Monday…Monday… Monday, I sit here sipping on a red eye, listening to music, and my mind racing on multiple topics, trying to focus and use my time off today to collect myself. With the personal things going on, my mother’s birthday and death anniversary, and things I want to accomplish all clashing at the same time it can be a bit overwhelming. Luckily I was able to take a few days off to really collect myself and keep my head straight.
Let me see those people, who put a lot on themselves and expect way more of themselves than anyone else does, raise their hands. I have always thought I could do more and so I have. But at the same time comparing myself to others in the same field and always feeling so far behind.
With this new venture into my creative side, Business Design, and Art in general, I look at those who can do it full-time and go I can’t compete. But that is also the fire that drives me into this further. That inner voice while beating me down is in reverse pushing me up all at the same time. When I think I am at the bottom of the pit, I can look back and see the growth I was able to accomplish.
I tend to strive under the most intense pressure… However, I am most of the time giving myself that pressure. Is this the most healthy mindset? Nope. Do I tend to break? Yep. But do I produce my growth in the end? Also Yep!
So circling back on the first paragraph, don’t feel bad or pity for me on the things I am going through. It is just fuel in my brain but if you see me and I have a glossed-over view in my eyes or it looks like I am playing a million things over in my brain, I am. Feel free to interrupt me, most likely I am just on the 1000 reiteration of something lol!
Ultimately this blog is being written as a small response to a conversation I had this morning of what is my motivation. I am my motivation. I have an idea. I have no clue if it will make me money. I have no clue if it will be my end all be all but I do know it is my idea and I do know I want to pursue it. I do know I want to throw all my creative powers at it. I do know I want to take the brain I have (which I know I have a pretty big brain LOL hence my logo) and learn and grow as much as I can.
I will take this whole thing as a learning experience at worst, I will take it as a new career at best! Either way is a win-win. What drives you? What keeps you going? What makes you be the best?
Thanks for reading my thoughts.
Much Love,
-Josh
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